Friends in Far-Right Places

Music copyright © 1989 by Dewayne Blackwell and Bud Lee
Words Creative Commons License 1992 by Jim Bearden

I got the idea for this one early in the summer of 1992, when there was some speculation about whether then-Vice-President Dan Quayle would be renominated for that office (of course, we found out later that then-President Bush was in fact thinking of choosing someone who wouldn’t provide the political humorists with quite so much material). But those of us who knew of Mr. Quayle’s hidden strengths had no doubt that we would be seeing him again (a disturbing thought even now, in fact) — and of those strengths, none were more important than his friends in far-right places.

Verse 1:
Blame it all on Murphy Brown: my spelling went down,
And ruined our campaign reviews.
The last one to know how to spell “potatoe”,
And the last one to have real values.
Now, I see the surprise, and the laughs in their eyes,
Each time I screw up my lines.
I know, to you, I may be “without a clue”,
But I’m staying on the ticket this time …

‘Cause I’ve got friends in far-right places,
Where the money drowns, and the fear chases
All thought away … and I’ll be okay.
Hey, I’m not big on books and learning,
But I know my place, and I’ll keep returning,
‘Cause I’ve got friends in far-right places.

Verse 2:
They say George was wrong, when he said I belonged
A heartbeat away from the top.
But I’ve learned, in a jam, like that war in Vietnam,
I can always run and get help from Pop.
I know everyone thinks I spend too much time on the links,
But it’s one reason I’ve gotten this far;
Hey, all I can say is, how many games can you play
Where you can get ahead by being sub-par?


Oh, I’ve got friends … in way-out, lunatic-fringe ….
rabid, Bible-thumping … homophobic …xenophobic … gynephobic …
far-right places.

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