Before we began our Monday morning staff meeting, Jim took me aside and told me the old man had just told him he'd heard from Kathy over the weekend. She told him pretty much what she'd told me, except for even less detail. Jim said that Jack took her words to mean she was fine, and she'd be home soon. I passed him in the hall later that morning, and wished I could commiserate with him about what we were both feeling.
The main topic at the staff meeting was Krause Soups. The tip we'd gotten the week before was apparently correct, as they'd called first thing that morning to let us know that they wanted to meet with us the next day. My guys had been out in the stores, working to make their products look acceptable, for a whole week, and I was confident we'd get through the store checks they would be doing over the next few days. Jim was a little antsy, though.
"I don't know, Murph, they usually don't call a meeting the day before they start to audit stores They just say to meet them at different points around the market, do their thing, and then meet with us."
"Hey, I'm well aware-- I've gone through eight or nine of these with these guys. But I seem to remember that at least once they met with us first. Relax, we're ready."
"Those better not be famous last words on this, my friend. And you are my friend, you know."
"Even if the stores don't cut it, and we piss these guys off?"
"You are my friend, present tense. I reserve the right to re-evaluate at any point."
"You're so kind, Mr. Lohan."
"I like when you call me Mr. Lohan. How'd it go at your latest family adventure?"
"You mean my last family adventure."
"That bad?"
"Nah, it WAS actually the last family, and it went okay, at least for me. I do feel a little strange now that it's done-- now that I've visited all four families. But the Learys, that's a sad scene, really sad. They never see their son, the guy who lived with me and the other foster kid there. He was a really good guy-- I guess the best friend I'd ever had growing up. I was really hoping to see him, but he lives in Washington, the state of Washington, and he had a big fight with his old man after a childhood of one long fight; and bam, it's fourteen years and two grandchildren later, and no contact. I felt like shit for the father and the mother. Perhaps worse for the mother-- she didn't do a damn thing, she had a great relationship with Mike growing up, and now she's suffering right along with her husband. It's terrible what can happen in families, you know?"
"Shit, that is awful. You know you could still contact him; I'm sure they'd give you his telephone number."
"Yeah, I've been thinking about that. Maybe I will. I just want to get all this stuff with Kathy straightened out. I want to see her again to see if what I think I feel is for real."
"Like I told you before, you're on your own with that one, kid.
I ran my same route that night, but I did it in about a minute and a half faster than usual, I think it was because I was as relaxed as I'd been in quite a while. At least, since I'd started my family quest. As I ran, I tried to determine how I felt about it being over, and I tried on adjectives like 'happy', 'pleased', 'contented', even 'satisfied'. I settled on 'relieved'. I thought again about trying to contact Mike Leary, and decided I'd definitely do it, just not right then. Running home, I got a feeling that Kathy had called when I was out, and that the little red light on my machine would be blinking. I knocked over a plant that sits on a little corner table near my front door trying to get to my phone. So much for premonitions.
I didn't go to Mahoney's to watch Monday Night Football that night-- I watched at home, so I could hear the sound. My Jets were playing, and they'd gotten off to a miserable start of the season-- it was do or die. They won, but I've got to say, all this stuff about the different reasons they call Bill Parcells 'the tuna' is just that. They call him 'the tuna' because he's got the body of a tuna fish.
The Krause Soups guys are famous for being morning people. I got to my office a bit before seven, to make sure we were prepared with all the usual store lists and data that Krause expected. At seven-twenty there were three Krause people, the local guy, the national sales manager, and the vice-president of sales sitting in the big conference room with Jim and Jack when I walked in. They were making small talk, mostly bullshit about golf that generally serves as the preamble to whatever it is that the manufacturer really wants to discuss. I fixed myself some coffee and sat down as Jim was giving the details of his latest attempt to get around the infamous Black Course at Bethpage State Park.
I played that course once, as a twelve-year-old, for free, on caddy day (my problem as a caddy was I could never find the damn ball). It was my first time on any golf course, and I played it, with six borrowed clubs that I carried around in a laundry bag, to a one-fifty-two, with a lot of cheating. A lot. Not surprisingly I didn't play another round until I was in my mid-twenties.
Jim got up for a second cup and asked if anyone wanted anything. Carl Joiner, the national sales manager said he was fine and used that moment to get the meeting started. The three of them were on one side of the long conference table and we were on the other.
Jim was sitting between Jack and me but I could smell the hangover on Scully and I believed the Krause guys could also.
"I appreciate you letting us come in on such short notice. here's the situation, we decided that we'd do our yearly store blitz on our own this time, we completed it two weeks ago. We felt it would be a very good test of your operation if we went back and did many of the same stores that we did last year plus quite a few stores we didn't and we felt for that we could manage to get around from store to store ourselves. Larry's got the results right here."
I was in shock, I remember my biggest concern for that moment was not showing how startled and frightened I was. we'd always had some notice and now I was finding out they'd done their own auditing, and us with fewer people than we'd had in years and far less than we'd told them. I hadn't been able to read what Carl was thinking and Larry Lantini; their local guy was unusually quiet. But he was passing out the results of their store audits now and my palms began to sweat. As Larry started to explain the numbers on the first of several pages of data I took a peek at the bottom of the last page. My heart jumped into my throat. We were down in every comparison to the previous year and most of the numbers were below Krause's acceptable level. I looked at Jim and rolled my eyes.
"Fellows, there are only a few pages so stay with me." Larry went through all the numbers, all the rotten numbers, highlighting the worst situations. They listed every store they audited and I immediately recognized the problem. They had been in an inordinately high number of stores where, because of staff cuts I'd made or because I was taking my time filling open slots to save some money, the coverage was lacking. Certainly an understandable reason for the poor results but clearly not an acceptable one. In fact, it's an excuse that a broker can never use. it's your responsibility to have enough people to do the job the manufacturer requires, period. But it didn't matter that I wouldn't use it, they had it figured out. Larry quickly finished the numbers and asked if we had any questions.
"Sounds like you guys did your homework and it looks to me like an exceedingly fair sampling. What do you think Sean?"
"Jim's right, it's fair, I'm not happy about the results, that's for sure, but it's fair." For the first time Robert--don't call him Bob, don't ever call him Bob-- Crowley the Krause Soups VP of sales spoke.
"Jack, it looks to me like you've got a very serious problem. I want you to understand that in every store that our people found lacking they asked whatever store personnel they could find if they were seeing anyone from Scully Sales on a regular basis. Larry's got some numbers." Larry passed out a page that detailed the responses of the aisle clerks and grocery managers the Krause people spoke to. Another ugly picture. Nearly half of them claimed not to have seen a Scully Sales person in more than four weeks and over twenty percent said they hadn't seen anyone in over three months.
"Even taking into consideration the fact that we all know a not insignificant number of store personnel will complain just so they might get even more coverage than they have, these numbers are really scary. we've done this now in what Carl, eight or nine markets?"
"Ten actually and we've never gotten responses close to this." No one spoke for a very long ten seconds or so. Robert Crowley broke the silence.
"What do you think Jack, are you surprised?" A very intelligent question I decided, how the hell could he answer it and not sound either ignorant of what was going on in his own company or admit that he'd cut his sales force way back. I should of known that Jack would get out of it by dumping it on someone else.
"Look Robert, I won't deny that we've got less people. You know we've taken some hits recently. Big hits. But I believe we've got enough people to do the job for you. There must be some extenuating factors. Murphy?"
"I don't know Jack, I've got to look into this, I've got to match up the stores with the routes that they're on. You know Robert, there could have been some vacations involved, some people out on disability, that sort of thing. Give me a day or two and I'll give you a detailed answer." I looked over at Jim, he looked worried.
"Jack, Larry will be in here Friday, that's four days, more than you've asked for. we'll expect to see a new route book, one that shows a smaller workload for your people. You'll also point out the open territories and give us solid dates as to when they're going to be filled. I'm not bargaining here Jack, Larry's got to tell Carl and me that he's satisfied, completely satisfied. Have I made myself clear?" Obviously, Robert hadn't bought a word of the crap I laid on him.
"Absolutely Robert, Murphy and Jim will meet with Larry Friday. we'll get this all straightened out. No problem Robert."
"Let me tell you something Jack, it is a problem. A damn serious problem and it's not going to last passed Friday. that's it, thank you for your time gentlemen. We can see ourselves out." Jim got up to walk them out anyway but Carl shook his head at him. We all stood quietly across the table as they walked out. Jack waited a moment, tiptoed to the doorway and looked down the hall. Satisfied they were gone he gave his critique of the situation in typical Jack Scully style.
"Fuck them. Who the fuck do they think they are, telling me how to run my fuckin' company. Murphy, put some shit together for that asshole Larry. Can you believe those guys Jim? What fuckin' nerve." Jim looked exasperated.
"Jack, listen they not fuckin' around. If we don't satisfy them we'll be fired. Crowley made that clear and we can't afford to lose another half a mill, we couldn't take the hit and I know you know that." Jack clasped his hands behind his head and tipped back his chair. He rubbed his face up and down with both of his hands and let his chair come back down before standing up.
"Come up to my office in about an hour." He was looking at Jim who nodded his head. We sat in the conference room after the old man left and lit up a couple of Jim's cigars. Ruthless would have a shit fit when she smelled the room but that was a good thing.
"I'm afraid I understand what's going on."
"I'm afraid you do Murph. I think this is the beginning of the old man's end game, no more payroll no matter what. Krause will fire us after they figure out everything you tell them Friday is bullshit and that could very well be the end of it all. I figure we can snow Krause for a few months, is that what you think?"
"Larry's got a few more markets than he used to, he's not around as much as he used to be. He might not figure us out for three or four months but I can't imagine it would be much longer than that." I paused a moment. "Shit, you know something's coming and you think you're ready for it but…" I didn't know how to finish my thought, but Jim did.
"How could you be ready for this, for sixty or seventy people out of a job. With lots of them over fifty and practically no chance to get anything even close to comparable. How the fuck could we ever be ready for that?"
When I saw Jim later that day he had no surprises for me. The old man was in fact letting the business die what HE considered a natural death. Jim said he took one last shot at getting Scully to try to turn things around but he wouldn't even discuss it. But he was more than willing to discuss his feelings about telling his employees what was going on. He made Jim give his word that he wouldn't let anyone at Scully Sales know what his plan was. Jim said he didn't have a problem with that, simply because it had been obvious to everyone in the company for the last couple of years. Jim was of course right, a string of lost accounts and personnel cutbacks had heightened everyone's expectation of the now imminent demise of Scully Sales.
I prepared for the meeting with Lantini exactly as if we were going to do everything in our power to get our coverage in order. I hated bullshitting Larry; he'd always been fair and decent with all of us, especially my retail force and me. But I found it an easy rationalization, if I conned him well it meant that much more time for people who could, to find work. And for people who would never be able to, it meant a few extra paychecks. He called me the next day and we set up an early Friday morning meeting. It was an easy decision for me to make it just the two of us, with as much bullshit as I would be laying on him it would just be much safer that way.
At eight AM sharp on Friday Larry walked into my office, shut the door behind him and sat down.
"Hey Larry, good to see you buddy. Join me for a cup of coffee."
"No thanks, I just had a cup, go ahead and get yours." I did, then sat back down behind my desk, on which, as part of my preparation for the meeting, I'd spread the stacks of junk out to the sides to give me a clear path to see my guest.
"Let me save you some time Sean. don't bother with whatever you've got prepared, I know full well what's going on here. After five years working with you guys you've got to know I've got my sources in here. But I haven't shared what I know with Carl, and I don't intend to. When you guys pull the plug I'm going to act as shocked as I can act."
"Why?"
"Simple. I've got six other markets and they're all doing fine. I've got eight months to go in my fiscal year and no matter how bad you guys screw up you can't prevent me from having a good bonus year this year. Next year's another story, I'll need something out of New York but you'll be gone by then. Actually the best case scenario for me would be for you guys to fold in four or five months, giving me time to hire a new broker and have them at least partially up and running by the time my new year starts. And by what we found out in the stores your timetable and mine might just dovetail." I corrected him.
"Not my timetable Larry, Scully's timetable."
"Sorry, you're right. So let's not waste time with all the shit you've got in that binder, just give me a copy, I know damn well it'll look good. I'll keep it over the weekend as if I was studying it and than I'll pass it on to Carl with my recommendation that we give you guys the opportunity to implement it. And then we hang out and wait for the end."
"Is it all right I let Jim know our arrangement?"
"Hell yeah, I trust Jim like I trust you Sean. So what are you going to do when this ends? Got a plan? You know I'll help you any way I can, a recommendation in writing, a phone call, whatever you need. I think Carl would help you too."
"Thanks, I appreciate that, I really do. Frankly I don't know what the hell I want to do. I'm not sure I want to stay in this business, then again what would I do. I don't know, I'll probably just wind up following Jim wherever he goes."
"Yeah, that's what I figured but again, anything I can do, just let me know."
I walked Larry out to his car, came back and went to Jim's office with the news. He didn't act surprised.
"I was basically expecting him to say just about that. I was imagining how I'd handle the situation if I was Larry and that's about what I came up with. Okay, at least that's out of the way. Listen, I saw the old man a few minutes ago and he said Kathy called him while he was getting dressed this morning and told him she was coming home Monday and would be staying indefinitely. She said she couldn't talk anymore and hung up."
"Did he say how she sounded?"
"Well, not specifically but he seemed to be okay with the conversation so I've got to think she sounded okay. it's still really weird though Isn't it, all this cloak and dagger shit about not telling where she is, what's she doing and why she's doing it?"
"I agree but I gave up trying to figure it out, maybe by next week we'll resolve the mystery."
"I'll tell you what Sean, if I were you I wouldn't count on it."
I'm spending the night in a Motel 6 outside of Chicago, I've got to tell you, their radio commercials are a lot better than their rooms. they're clean all right but they're small and antiseptic looking, like a private room in a hospital without that bed that goes up and down. They do have a phone and I look at it every few minutes while I recite Kathy's phone number out loud in my head. But I still haven't pushed any of its buttons and my goal is to reach South Dakota without doing it.
When I got home the night after my meeting with Larry from Krause Foods I had a message on my machine from Kathy. She said just about what Jack told Jim she told him, that she'd be home soon and not to worry. At that point I really wasn't sure what the hell I was feeling anymore and just tried to put it all out of my head until I actually saw her again. I wasn't successful, her face, her body, her voice, all haunted me as I did my run through the streets and the park. After I got home I rushed through my shower, threw some clothes on and got down to Mahoney's and the comfort of people and noise. It was foolish but I spent much of the night expecting her to tap me on the shoulder like she did the night she popped in there. I drank beer until I stopped waiting for her to show up and went home knowing the morning would bring me a hangover and more thoughts of that face and her goddamn musk.
Another quiet Saturday afternoon at Jim's did move me forward on one thing; Jim again mentioned what a good thing it would be for me to get in touch with my old friend Mike Leary. I almost always do one of two things with Jim's advice, follow it right away or follow it after a while. And with almost uniformly good results, I might add. Therefore, as this was the second time Jim had made the suggestion I didn't wait any longer than when I got home that afternoon. I called the Learys, got Mr. Leary and asked for Mike's number. You would have thought he was just notified that he was the one winner out of the nine-zillion people who had entered the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, he was absolutely ecstatic. He understandably felt any contact with Mike, by anyone from the old days had the potential to result in him having some contact with the son that was breaking his heart. I tried to temper Mr. Leary's enthusiasm a bit without crushing him.
"I understand there are no guarantees in life Sean, but this is at least something." It was definitely something.
When I called Seattle it was about two thirty PM their time. I got their answering machine; it was apparently one of his daughters with one of those messages that would be cute if they didn't go on a bit too long.
"Hi... .Hi, you've reached the Leary ‘redidence,' we're not able to come to the phone now and, and but Mommy and Daddy promise to call you back as soon as they can. Please leave you telephone number and we... they will call you back as soon as they can. Thank you for calling, have a wonderful day. Bye, bye. Bye bye. Bye."
"Mike, it's Sean Murphy, a name out of your distant past. I got your number from your folks and I thought I'd give you a buzz to see how you're doing. Call me anytime old friend." I made a disingenuous comment about the cuteness of his daughter's answering machine riff and left my number.
I took a trip down to the local fish store and picked up one of their ready to eat shrimp dinners and got back to a blinking answering machine.
"Sean, it's Mike. How great to hear your voice. I must have missed your call by a minute or two but I'm home, we're going to be home all night, PLEASE call me as soon as you get this. Talk to you soon." I decided my dinner could wait.
"Mike, it's Sean. How the hell are you buddy?"
"Sean Murphy, man oh man, it's been eighteen years you know. Wow. Yeah, I'm fine; we're all fine. I'm sure my mom told you far more about our family than you wanted to hear but you know mom. we're out here in the great state of Washington and it's a damn good life. Tell me about you, are you married, I see by the phone number you're still in Nassau County, what do you do? Man this is really something. Go ahead, I'm sorry, I'm just so excited to hear from you."
I filled him in on the basically uneventful eighteen or so years since we'd last seen each other, touching a little on my foster family quest and ending with a toned down review of my visit to his folk's home. I left out Kathy and I left out how heartbreaking his father sounded. I asked him to tell me more about his life, his day to day life.
"Murph, I'm a college Mathematics professor, calculus mostly. I'm tired of teaching the subject but the students are great. I never get tired of the interaction. I coach my older daughter's soccer team, that's Jody, she's eight and the little one you heard on that yucky answering machine message is Cathy." I interrupted him.
"Is that Kathy with a K or Cathy with a C?"
"A C, why do you ask?"
"It's a long story, we'll get to it at some point. But go on, tell me more."
"Well, there's not that much more. Cathy, with a C is four, she takes dancing lessons, I play slow pitch softball, a little tennis with Nikki at a club out here and I'm a big time dad. Nikki started back to school last year, she wants to get her masters and teach little ones when our little ones aren't little anymore. I'm still listening to James Taylor and the Moody Blues and I've become a big Seattle Sonics, Seahawks and Mariners fan. What else? I've got a four year old Volvo and a five year old beard. Kind of the staples of my profession, you know? Listen man, you didn't say anything about a woman. Unless you've gone gay, NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT..." We shared a laugh.
"Well, I've had a few relationships, nothing really serious but I am kind of involved with somebody now but it's really complicated and kind of weird. How much time do you have?"
"All night Murph, this is great. Go ahead tell me."
I started with the fact that her father would go bananas if he found out someone from his company was seeing his daughter and told the story of meeting her for the first time at her old man's Christmas party. I gave him all the details, of the rest of that night and the few subsequent times we were actually together. Except for a few well-placed "Wows" and "Jesus Christs", he listened quietly without commenting. I ended by telling him about her as yet mostly unexplained relationship with a Princeton professor and how I was expecting to see her soon but wouldn't bet a whole lot on it.
"Well my friend, sounds like you're in a movie more than a relationship. Life imitating art imitating life. I guess the obvious question is also the tough one, are you in love with her?"
"I wish I'd spent enough time with her to know for sure. I know that some days I am. I think all I can do is wait and see if we ever get to the point where we see each other every day for a while. I've got to tell you though, as hard and as strange as it is, it beats the shit out of having nobody. And that's where I was when all this began. So where did you meet Nikki, How'd you meet her I guess is a better question?"
"Nothing exotic or should I say erotic like you and Kathy with a K. We were both enrolled in grad school at State, I saw her sitting alone in the cafeteria one-day and that was that. she's a terrific woman Sean and I'm so goddamn lucky to have a wonderful family, I truly count my blessings." I was waiting for an opening and that seemed to be a natural.
"Your parents said to send their love, especially your dad. I don't mean to get into anything that's not my business but he seemed to be a really different guy than the guy you grew up with and the guy I spent a couple of years with."
"I'm sure he is Sean, we're all different. We all change as we get older but the memories I have, the early years before you came to us, things I never told you about. Ah, I really don't want to get into that shit, it's so bad it just bums me out thinking about it. And since I've stopped seeing him I'm not haunted by them nearly as much, actually I go months at a time without thinking about them and that only began to happen over the last few years. It took that long away from him to get to this point so I'm not really looking to screw up it up right now, you know?" I knew that Mike Leary senior was a tough son of a bitch and I'd had a suspicion that he might have been even harsher on his son before I got there but Mike seemed to be intimating something beyond harsh. I was hesitant to pursue it but I was hesitant to let it go.
"Listen, like I said, I don't mean to pry but you know, even in going back to a couple of the foster homes where they treated me like shit for the most part, I came away feeling sorry for the people and feeling better about myself. How tough is it not seeing your mother?" There was a long pause on the other end of the phone.
"That's the toughest part Murph, I miss her badly. I don't mean to wish my old man any harm but when he's gone I'll get back my relationship with my mother, you can bet on that."
"There's no guarantees in life Mike and I'll tell you something, your mom didn't look all that great." I'd decided to tell a bald-faced lie, spur of the moment.
"Christ Sean, what are you saying? Is she all right, do you know something I don't know?"
"No no no, all I'm saying is she's not getting any younger and she looked her age more than your father did." Another gigantic lie.
"Jeez, I've got pictures from not that long ago and she looks great."
"I don't know man, all I can tell you is I was sitting right across from her for an hour or two and she looked kind of worn out, kind of tired. Or maybe it was just a sadness I was seeing because the conversation had turned to you and that made her feel badly, I'm not sure." There was another long pause on his end; I decided I'd wait it out no matter how long it took. Finally Mike just changed the subject.
"What about Richie, ever hear from him?"
"No, the last time I saw him was the last night you saw him, when we were all together before I went in the Army, you remember that night don't you Mike?" At my going away party, in a room above a bowling alley, Mike had gotten into a fight with a drunken creep who'd put his hands on a girl Mike was with. It took three of us to pull him off the guy, and two other guys to drive the poor slob to an emergency ward.
"I do but I try not to. You know Sean; I haven't hit anyone since that night, not a man, not my kids, no one. And I don't ever intend to."
We talked for quite a while after that, small talk mostly, sports, music, some old times. I decided I wouldn't bring up his family anymore during that conversation, if he were anything like me he'd think about it a bit and perhaps begin to soften the next time we spoke. We ended by promising to stay in touch, a promise that I was going to follow up on whether or not he really meant it.
Everyday was the day I expected Kathy to come back. And days turned into weeks, weeks spent watching Scully Sales die, not quickly but with a true certainty. But those days were tempered by watching the baseball team of my youth, the Yankees, win their second World Series championship in three years. I call them the team of my youth to distinguish them from the New York Mets, the other New York baseball team and the other baseball team I root for.
As I got into my teens I started to expand my rooting interests, from just the football Giants to the Giants and Jets, from the Knicks in basketball to the Knicks and Nets and in baseball I added the Mets. That puts me in a very small minority of New York fans who choose to pull for all the professional teams in the area and causes ceaseless questioning from other sports fans who can't understand, for instance, how someone could root for the Mets AND the Yankees. I just say I'm nothing more than a parochial New Yorker who enjoys having more teams to root for. But that's just part of the answer I figured out during Army basic training.
Each day we'd get mail call, the letters from home would be brought in to the barracks by a PFC, himself just another young kid, right out of basic training. He would stand in the front of the room with this big stack of letters and call out the names on the envelopes. In eight weeks I never got a letter, never had my named called. But I had no expectations of hearing Sean Murphy roll off the tongue of Private First Class Negron and it being September and the high point of the pennant races; I would spend mail call studying baseball box scores. And it was during one of those mail call moments that I finally and fully realized that I rooted for every New York area team any group of rich businessmen could put together to cover up the holes in my existence. They were the parents asking me questions about my life and caring about my well being, they were the uncles and aunts sending me birthday wishes and Christmas gifts. And in basic training they filled the void of the girl from Long Island who would have been sending letters to me, care of Fort Dix, New Jersey.
So here I was now, years later, basically alone but in love-- probably-- with a girl, all things considered, less than ideal. And she was AWOL but I had my Yankees and my Giants and my Jets; and my Knicks and Nets were starting training camp and I was getting by.
It was Friday October thirtieth; I had my entire retail sales force coming in for their monthly meeting, meetings that lately had become more pep talks than information sharing. They all knew and understood what was happening, the ones that could get jobs had already left and been replaced by people no one else would hire. It was a sad scene and I hated the last Friday of every month. But not this Friday.
I got to my office just before seven, stopping for coffee and a glazed donut. I opened the door to my office and put the bag with my healthy breakfast on my desk when, for a moment I thought I had walked into the wrong room. The blotter on the desk was actually visible; it was bright green for heaven sake. I remember, just for a second, making a mental note to get one like that for my desk and wondering whose office I had inadvertently walked into. But then I noticed that aroma of Musk; I turned my head a few degrees to the left and saw Kathy, curled up on the floor, in a corner, sound asleep. My first instinct was to lie down next to her and wrap my body around hers, but sanity prevailed and I closed the door to my office. I quietly walked over to her, knelt down on one knee and kissed the side of her face, less gently than I had intended I might add. I stayed right there as she opened her eyes and smiled.
"Hi Sean, you look cute. Close the door and let's do it."
"The door is closed and the only thing we're going to do is get you the hell out of my office. Or rather my neat office. When I see you later you can tell me what got into to you to straighten up the unstraightenable but please, go up to daddy's office or get out of the building." I kissed her again, this time on the mouth, but only for a second or two.
"I've got a lot to tell you Sean Murphy, I do want to see you later. Do we have to wait for tonight?" She got up and was putting herself back together as best she could after sleeping in her clothes.
"Do you want to wait for me at my place, I'll give you a key and I'll get out of here as soon as I can? Maybe by three, four o'clock or so."
"All right, give me the key and I'll get to your place by three and you do the best you can. I want you bad you know?"
"Likewise I'm sure my dear, now clear out of here before anyone sees you. In fact, stay right here, let me see if the coast is clear." We caught a break, there was no one in the hall and I didn't hear anyone walking around the floor.
"By the way, does your father know you're back?"
"No, but I'm going home right now and I'll see my mother. And I'll see you later big boy." As she started to kiss me, in one motion I spun her around towards the door and gently pushed her to it and through it. Her good-bye was said a little too loud for my peace of mind.
"Bye sweetheart." I watched her walk down the hall and out the rear exit of the building, went back to my office and sat down at my neat desk. I discovered she had placed my IN items in the IN box and my OUT items in the OUT box, a most clever maneuver I thought. she'd found reasonable spaces for my calculator, stapler and my yellow legal pad that served as my ever changing to-do list and had even cleaned the picture of the eighty-six Mets that sits in a most prominent position. I knew she dusted it because I almost didn't recognize it, the clarity was striking. Definitely a side of this girl I hadn't been aware of.
Sitting there that moment, I had a feeling of inner peace, perhaps even of inner strength, feelings that I hadn't experienced in a long time. And though I already knew that it was almost certainly ephemeral I was enjoying the hell out it
The rest of that day dragged on, I was useless at the sales meeting, delegating almost everything to my supervisors and I accomplished next to nothing other than checking my watch about a thousand times. I blew off Jim for lunch though I did mention to him that Kathy was back in town. He already knew, Scully had told him his wife had called with the good news. I didn't tell him of our plans, I'm not sure why, probably because I didn't want to do anything but plan an early exit out of Westbury. Finally, at around two thirty I realized Jim had gotten an early start for a getaway weekend in New England with Maureen and things around the office seemed relatively under control. I asked Tony Musso, my best supervisor and ironically the guy standing next to me when I first met Kathy Scully at her father's home, if he'd fill in for me if anything came up.
In less than twenty minutes I was in front of my rented place in Wantagh, disappointed that Kathy's car was nowhere in sight. I went inside, confirmed my fears and decided to do the adult thing; I'd change into running clothes and go for a run rather than sitting around and pining for this unpredictable young woman.
I guess I was still confident she'd show up that afternoon because I flew through my run. And lo and behold, I wasn't disappointed. I saw the green Jag and my heart, already pumping from running for over thirty minutes picked up speed. As I walked in the door I called out in my best Ricky Ricardo impersonation.
"Hey, Lucy, I'm home."
"In here your suave band leader." Her voice was from the bedroom. I almost flew in to find her lying on the bed, naked and beautiful. The smell of her musk was as strong as I'd ever smelled it. I was already taking off my shirt when she began to quickly put her clothes on.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Take a shower Ricky, you and Lucy are going to the movies. I've been thinking about this for months, we're going to do whatever we can get away with right there in the movie theater."
"Wait a minute, I'm not denying this stuff is exciting, but Peewee was excited when he got busted, and he was only doing himself. Can't we... Don't you have some plan B?"
"Listen to me, it'll be fine. We won't be there long, just like the restaurant; it'll only take us a few minutes. Anyway, you'll love it and you'll love it again when we come back here."
I watched her getting dressed for another moment, took off my clothes and got into the shower. As the hot water sprayed down on me I didn't have a good feeling. I was frightened, not just about what could go wrong but because I felt I was losing what little control I thought I had gathered the last time we were together. I toyed with the idea of telling her to forget it. That we would stop this crazy stuff and either have a reasonable relationship or none at all. But then I imagined touching her in the movie theater and God knows what else and I got excited, excited enough to say the hell with reason, that would happen when I was older, wiser and worn down.
We drove a few miles to Massapequa, home of the Sunrise Mall Movie Theater complex, and not two miles from the lake that Mike Leary drove the Hornet into. We paid our money and walked into the maze of little theaters, each with about thirty rows of seats. Kathy suggested we pick out the one with the least amount of people, and the second one we checked couldn't have had more than a dozen patrons, none of which were in the last ten rows of the left-side section. We walked in and sat in the last row, left side, closest to the wall. Michael Douglas was on the screen, driving in his car. To this day, that's all I can remember about what was on that movie screen in the handful of minutes we were in that theater. Kathy was sitting in the last seat, to my left. She immediately hiked up her skirt and started fumbling with my pants. I looked to my right and determined everyone in my line of sight was engrossed in the action of the movie.
"Wait, easy does it." I opened the top button on my jeans and pulled down the zipper. I was as naked under my pants as she was under her skirt.
"That's as much as I'm doing-- whatever we do, it's like this." As I quietly spoke those words, she was smiling and spreading her legs. She swiveled her body in her chair toward me and whispered, "Do me with your fingers." I looked around again and continued to stare at the people watching the movie as I felt her body writhe in my hand. It was unbelievably exciting; I had all I could do not to lose it right then. She began to softly moan, and I pulled my hand away.
"Please don't stop. I'll be quiet." I placed my hand back between her legs and picked up my pace a bit. In a few seconds, she gently pushed me away. I looked at her, and she put her finger to her lips, then whispered, "Just keep watching them," and motioned to the right side of the movie theater. As I turned my head to follow her advice, I heard her move out of her seat and kneel on the floor. Almost at that precise moment, a man and a woman got up from the center section, close to the screen, and began to walk up the aisle separating the center section from our section. I continued to watch them as they approached the end of the aisle. As the woman walked by our row, she froze in her tracks for a moment, causing the man to stop a few paces past her and turn back to her and say something. For a few seconds they were both watching Kathy making love to my manhood. That combination drove me into a zone unlike any I'd ever experienced, and resulted in a quick, major eruption. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, and opened them to find the unintended voyeurs gone. I gave myself only a few seconds to catch my breath before closing my jeans and grabbing Kathy's arm.
"Come on, let's get out of here." We briskly got out of the movie complex, without seeing the two witnesses to our madness. And I must admit that by the time we got to the safety of my car I was smiling, both inside and out.
"You are crazy, certifiably crazy but I can't lie, that was great. So I guess I'm certifiable too. Shit, we can't keep doing this stuff, but man, it was great. I guess I've said that already."
"I knew you'd start to really get into doing it out in the world, we're all exhibitionists you know. Or sexual risk takers, I'm not sure what to call it but whatever it is we just don't give ourselves a chance." She was glowing.
"You don't even know what to call us. Damn, if I hadn't already called us certifiable I'd do it now. And give us a chance? How about having enough brains not to want to take the chance. Ever hear about the principle of risk vs. reward?" We were now safely driving west on Sunrise Highway, toward my place and I was having second thoughts.
"Come on, what are the odds we're going to get in any real trouble?. So those two people saw us. So what? In fact, I bet YOU loved it. And I bet we helped them have a great time of it when they got home."
"Look, you're probably right in all that, but there is a true
risk. I agree it's small, but it's there, and I'm not going to
keep taking it. But we'll talk about that later." We were on the
corner of Spruce and Jackson, and several minutes later we were
in my bedroom, and for the next hour everything this girl had
been putting me through was a universe away.
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Material Copyright © 1998-2003 by Jim Bearden