Eddie met Rita and Maryann near the ferry in Greenport. They now had to get in Eddie's car, go back on the ferry to Shelter Island, ride through the island and take the south ferry across to Sag Harbor. And for the first half of the trip, until the car was safely past Rita and Maryann's neighborhood, the girls were scrunched down so as not to be seen by a parent or a parent's friend. All of this to see one set of music by Eddie, Tommy and the band. Now, to Rita and Maryann, if anything, the hiding and sneaking on these trips had made those trips more fun. As with all things important, the price paid has a direct correlation to the feelings of accomplishment upon success. But, unlike other excursions, Rita wasn't enjoying any of this. Fear of Maryann's reaction to what undoubtedly would be Tommy's rejection was making her head hurt. She had told herself a thousand times that she wouldn't be to blame, that every young girl gets crushes that lead to nowhere. But as those thoughts were circulating her brain she noticed that her head was shaking side to side. She seemed to be having an argument with herself and was clearly losing. She only wondered why for a moment. She had lost a mom, who had never really been a mom, to death; Maryann had lost a mom through abandonment. They had acted like and even verbalized their feelings of sisterhood, but their relationship said otherwise. She was now, for all practical purposes, Maryann's mother and as a mother she was going to have to be there, going to have to watch her daughter's heart be broken. Of course, the irony of this was very few real mothers ever got to witness a scene like Rita was going to witness. The more she thought about it, the worse she felt.
By the time Eddie and the girls got to Rosco's, Tommy, Mike and Brian Christopher had everything set up. Brian played lead guitar and was the best pure musician of the group. He was also valuable for his old but serviceable pick-up truck. They used it to carry their equipment around. Their problem was rain and snow. They had a tarp to protect their instruments that worked just fine, but it was hard taking the tarp off without winding up looking like wet rats. Cooler Heads was decidedly not a disco band, but they weren't trying for an Allman Brothers look either. They had recently solved their dilemma with the use of umbrellas. Two of the guys would hold the umbrella while the other two did the work. They all lived in fear of having to do the umbrella trick in front of a group of their would-be fans. Good weather and back entrances had so far been on their side.
On this beautiful early June night there had been no weather problems or anything else to affect anyone's confidence level. It was now nearing nine-thirty, the time when they were to begin their first set and Rosco's was beginning to fill up. It would eventually hold roughly fifty or sixty people and there were now about forty young guys (mostly) and girls hanging out. Knowing their evening would end when that first set ended, Maryann had, for the last ten or fifteen minutes, been making her move on Tommy. Her "move" consisted of smiles and small talk while the band set up, then trying to stay as close to Tommy as she could as the four players went over the composition of their set. All the while Rita nervously watched Maryann's doomsday machine plod forward. Her prodding to get Rita to ask Tommy to go beyond his observation (the description Rita had concocted) of her as cute and to actually make some conversation with her hadn't worked. Of course, Tommy had no idea of Rita's problem and didn't take much notice of her friendly, chubby friend. He was, to be sure, preparing for the biggest night of his still embryonic musical career. With less than fifteen minutes to show time, Maryann was nearing tears. She pulled Rita aside and virtually begged her to talk to Tommy. Rita, without any real plan, told Maryann to sit down at a nearby table. The table was located next to the tiny corridor containing the rest rooms and a few feet further away from the even smaller area back behind the bar the guys had been in. Rita got Eddie away from the bar and dragged him into that little space.
"Eddie, what are we gonna do? If Maryann finds out I've been lying to her about Tommy she'll kill me. I know this is all ridiculous but..."
"Hey, what do you mean 'we'? I told you to tell her she was being stupid. She can't even get somebody her age to look at her. Tell her to drop a few hundred pounds and pick on some little eleventh grader."
Rita couldn't believe her ears. She's never considered Eddie the most sensitive boy in the world. She'd seen him fail to react to what in her estimation were some awfully sad movie scenes and even the death of a teacher that Eddie had told her was "the best guy I ever had." But he had always been at least aware of her feelings and he certainly knew how she felt about Maryann. She quickly decided that if she were going to get Eddie to talk Tommy into saying a few kind words to Maryann, she'd have to control her anger for the time being. If she sweet-talked Eddie into helping her, it would get everyone through the evening and she swore to herself she'd clear this all up by telling Maryann that Tommy had just begun to date someone. An obvious escape clause, it hadn't been available, as Mike (on the fateful night Tommy remembered her name and Maryann fell in love) had told Maryann Tommy wasn't going with anyone. But that was a few weeks ago and "things happen," she would tell her friend. She just didn't want to do it here or now. Just buy a little time and she'd get this all behind them.
So Rita's response to Eddie's comments were nothing more than a sweet plea for help.
"Eddie, honey, I know I'm putting you in a tough spot," and with that she put her arms around him and gave him a big, phony kiss. She felt absolutely horrible doing it and was already sorry for it before she got her mouth off of his. "Forget I just did that," Rita nearly shouted. "You ought to be ashamed of talking about Maryann like that. She thinks a lot of you and you know how much I love her and what she's been through and how tough it is being her. You're just an asshole and I want to go home." Rita was in tears now. At that moment Tommy walked into their little cubicle.
"Eddie, we're on in five minutes. Rita, did you know your friend just ran out of here crying? Jesus, you're crying too. What the hell's goin' on?"
Rita ran through the bar and out into the street. When she didn't immediately see Maryann she decided she must have headed back towards the ferry.
Rosco's was located several blocks from the ferry dock, but there were two similar routes Maryann could have taken. Rita figured she'd just pick one and run like mad, either to overtake Maryann or, at least, catch up to her waiting for the next ferry.
After running only a few seconds she heard Eddie's voice calling her name. She felt good and then felt bad that she felt good. She kept running, brushing against people of all sizes and shapes. She burned the back of her hand on a cigarette and knocked down a guy bending over to... she didn't know what the hell he was doing. She never slowed down till the ferry was in sight. It was just leaving the dock.
"Oh, no," Rita said out loud to no one. She was about fifty yards from the ferry area, lit up and marked off with vehicle lanes, the ferry's main passengers. She slowed down and began to search with her eyes. Nothing. She walked over to a bench near the ferry station building to sit down and catch her breath. Sweat was dripping in her eyes and one big drop fell from the top of her nose, landing on her lower lip. She wiped her eyes, nose and mouth with one long stroke and took a deep breath. Though continuing to be furious with Eddie, she still wanted to see how they would do in front of a Sag Harbor crowd. On the other hand, Maryann was on her way home (she hoped) and probably miserable over what had happened. But exactly what had happened? Rita decided her best friend must have heard her conversation with Eddie and gotten the wrong impression. Damn, she thought, maybe she saw me kiss Eddie after he said those awful things about her. She was just a few feet away and could easily have stood up and walked over to the end of the bar and heard and seen it all. Rita wondered if Maryann would go home, and if she did what reason would she give her father for getting home before the "movie" ended. Rita then realized there was no point in her returning home, she couldn't call Maryann yet. That would really screw everything up. She might as well walk back to Rosco's and see if the band was having a better night than she was.
Maryann was indeed on the south ferry that Rita watched leave and she did see and hear the conversation Rita had with Eddie. And she was sad and mad and even miserable but not because Eddie said those things about her (no news there, guys had said worse to her face) and not because Rita kissed him after he said it. Maryann had also heard Rita's angry words right after the aborted kiss. She was hurt because of the first words she heard Rita say, the part about lying and being ridiculous. The fact of the matter was that in the beginning, Maryann had thought the idea of her and Tommy ridiculous, too, but Rita gave her the impression it could happen. Made her believe.
Maybe I shouldn't have been so naive, she said to herself, but I trusted her. Maryann was heartbroken that her friend would both think she so weak as not to be able to handle the fact that a gorgeous twenty year old guy wouldn't want to date her and worse, would embarrass her with Eddie and God knows who else. That's not what sisters would do, she thought. It was after 11:00 P.M. now and Maryann felt she had spent enough time in her father's garage. Her eyes were dry now and she walked into the house.
Rosco's never did quite fill up that Friday night, but the band did fine. By the end of their first set the young crowd had gotten into it. Cooler Heads' brand of rock n' roll was one part Eagles, two parts (early) Rolling Stones. But they were a tight band as bar bands go and between sets Rosemary Cola hired them back for the next weekend. Tommy tried to bargain for a raise but Rosemary just gave him a you've got to be kidding look and he dropped the idea. Eddie wasn't there for the new deal; he spent his fifteen-minute break walking Rita halfway to the ferry dock.
"I'm sorry sweetheart, I should've understood how sad you'd feel for Maryann."
"Why do guys have to make cracks about a girl's weight, and why do you talk and act like a little kid Eddie? Don't you realize how stupid you sound? Jeez."
"You're right, you're right about everything. I did act stupid and I don't know why. I'm sorry, really, really sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"
"How about getting Tommy interested in Maryann?" She paused. "Ah, now I'm acting dumb, I've been acting dumb. I should learn to keep my mouth shut. I just feel so bad for Maryann. She's lonely and I feel like I need to do something about it. I think I need a better plan than fixing her up with Tommy." No shit, Eddie thought.
Eddie and Rita both worked full days on Saturday. The band's success the night before made getting up a bit easier for Eddie, but it was still damn hard to be on the job at 8:00 A.M. sharp the morning after. He also had to depend on his alarm clock and then his will power as his mom worked late at the hospital on Friday nights and slept in, and his dad was gone by 7:00 A.M. He managed to be in the shower by 7:30 and out the door by 7:50 for the barely ten minute ride to the I.G.A. which stood on the southwestern edge of Shelter Island. In those minutes Eddie did, for him, a lot of thinking. A little about the band, a little (a very little) about his grocery job and quite a bit about Rita. He realized that her love for Maryann was stronger than he had ever imagined and that he really had been an asshole. And, he had never heard Rita call or even refer to anyone as an asshole before, not even her father who sure fit the description based on the stories Rita had told about him. He glanced in his rear-view mirror and noticed the road empty behind him. In that moment he realized how empty his life would be without Rita, how so much of what he enjoyed in his life was related to making her happy. He again, against his will, imagined life without her and immediately lost and caught his breath. He glanced at his speedometer and decided fifteen miles an hour a bit too slow. Pushing hard on the accelerator felt good.
He thought back to the night just a few months ago when his band, just starting out, had played at a school dance. How he had seen her staring at him banging away at his drum and how she returned his smile. He laughed out loud when he remembered the first time they were alone together in his car, when she told him he had the darkest brown eyes she'd ever seen and made some little joke about his eyes and his last name. He couldn't exactly remember her words but did remember his attempt to compliment her eyes and his failure to pass her test.
"If you think they're so pretty, tell me what color they are," she said.
"Grey," he said with conviction.
"Grey! Nobody has gray eyes," she laughed. "They're hazel, you dummy."
Jeez, what the hell is hazel he thought then and again now, they still look gray to me he decided and laughed out loud.
His day at the store was pretty much like all days there, boring and long. By 5:00 P.M. he felt as if he'd been there for nineteen hours not nine. It might have helped if Mr. Burger, the store manager had let him out for lunch. But since Eddie was made assistant manager, the rule was he was in the store from 8:00 to 5:00 on Saturdays. Eddie's boss, Al Hurrle, worked Sundays, making Eddie the acting grocery manager on Saturdays. All it really meant was he was responsible for making sure the Saturday truck was unloaded properly and checked out. The rest of the time he did exactly what just about everyone there did; packed out cans and bottles and bags and cartons and tubes and packages of all sizes and shapes. He recalled the day he got promoted to assistant manager and how they had thought it was a big deal when they told him, "As assistant grocery manager you won't have to bag groceries at the check-out counter anymore unless it's very, very busy."
"Hey, I like doing that," he replied. They thought he was kidding and had a little laugh at his words.
"No, really I do. It's like a break."
Al looked at Mr. Burger and shrugged his shoulders. That "Ain't these kids today impossible to understand" shrug as the two men walked away.
But another workday was over and it was Saturday night and
Cooler Heads wasn't booked. They had been scheduled to play at a
place in Nassau County about forty miles away but the owner had
called Tommy on Thursday to say they were temporarily closed due
to some kitchen problem. If the kitchen was as dirty as the men's
room, Eddie thought, the board of health must have closed them
down. So it was Rita and the drive-in and pray for rain.
Questions? Comments? Please send e-mail to jbearden@ieee.org
Material Copyright © 1998-2003 by Jim Bearden